muhasabah diri..

Beberapa minggu yang lepas, berkesempatan mengikuti satu Tamrin yang diadakan di MADU, Machang. Peserta terdiri daripada AJK Kawasan dan Dewan2, Ketua2 cawangan dan Dewan2 seluruh kawasan Kota Bharu. Rasa bertuah dapat ikut program tersebut, sebabnya, sejak balik dari England, rasanya inilah tamrin pertama yang dapat diikuti tanpa anak-anak bersama. Hanya baby sahaja dapat bertamrin bersama. Yang lain ditinggalkan di nursery, semalaman. Alhamdulilah...

Pengisian yang paling melekat di kepala ini adalah pengisian oleh Ustaz yang menjadi mudir Maahad Muhammadi Lelaki. Tak ingat pula namanya. Sangat-sangat terkesan dengan kata-katanya. Bukan sahaja penyampaian yang menarik di sebabkan di celah-celah ceramahnya, dimasukkan unsur2 rumahtangga, namun gayanya yang bersahaja, menghiburkan dan mencelikkan mata yang mengantuk (pagi itu ada Qiyam).

'Berapa ramai orang yang dah masuk PAS sebab tingkahlaku kita?'

'Berapa orang yang dah kita ajak masuk PAS dan masuk PAS lepas pilihanraya baru2 ini?'

Disebabkan peserta adalah ahli PAS belaka, maka soalan yang ditanya adalah sangat relevan. Suka saya membesarkan persoalan sebagaimana Tok guru Nik Abdul Aziz sentiasa mengingatkan ahli2 PAS untuk mengutamakan Islam itu sendiri di dalam dakwah, maka persoalan yang lebih serius perlu difikirkan.

'Berapa orang yang dah masuk Islam disebabkan tingkahlaku kita?'

'Berapa orang yang sudah kita dakwahkan dan sudah memeluk Islam hasil usaha dakwah kita?'

Secara jujur, saya sendiri tidak dapat menjawab persoalan ini dengan baik. Amanah yang dikurniakan ke atas saya seramai 6 orang anak dan seorang suami, pun belum tentu telah saya dakwahkan dengan berkesan.

Cabaran yang paling terasa adalah cubaan untuk menanamkan kefahaman Islam terhadap mad'u seperti yang kita faham. Masing-masing dengan kefahaman masing-masing, hanya dengan ilmu yang sebenar kefahaman itu dapat diterima mahupun disangkal. Maka penghujahan yang mantap dengan ilmu dan kefahaman yang sebenar mengikut lunas Islam itulah yang amat2 diperlukan oleh daie hari ini. Pun begitu kita tidak menolak, sedangkan ada perkara-perkara yang para sahabat pun turut berbalah dan berbeza pendapat.

Maka cabaran tersebut memerlukan kepakaran dalam memahami keperluan mad'u itu sendiri. Nabi pun telah menunjukkan contoh, samada melalui perkataan, perbuatan mahupun diam.. pilihlah cara yang sesuai menurut mad'u bukan menurut kita, dai'e. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Masuk kandang kambing, mengembek. Masuk kandang rimau, mengaumlah.. takut2 kalu dok kecek kelate, kene behe ke rimo..

Kalau kena batang hidung sendiri???

Ingat dulu ada sorang hamba Allah pernah cerita, masa zaman nabi dulu ada seorang pemuda yang masuk Islam. Sebelum dia masuk Islam, dia suka sangat berzina. Jadi lepas dia ucapkan syahadah, dia cuba tahan diri dari melakukan zina. Sampai satu hari, dia jumpa dengan Rasulullah.

'Aku tak tahan dah ya Rasulullah. Bolehkah aku berzina?'

Rasulullah, tak marah. Rasulullah tak herdik pemuda itu. Rasulullah diam seketika.

'Bagaimana perasaan kamu kalau adik perempuan kamu berzina? Bagaimana pula perasaan kamu kalau yang melakukan penzinaan itu kakak kamu? Anak perempuan kamu?'

Saya minta maaf kalau cerita ini tidak dapat dipastikan kesahihannya. Saya dah tak ingat siapa yang ceritakan kepada saya. Yang penting bagi saya, point yang hendak disampaikan kepada kita.

Segala amalan adalah dengan niat. Itu kata nabi, hadis sohih. Hati yang baik akan menghasilkan perlakukan yang baik. Makanya, jika perlakuan seseorang itu buruk, tidak salah jika hatinya disabitkan sebagai pencetus terhadap perlakuan tersebut. Sebab itu dizaman sains dan teknologi yang tersangat moden dan canggih ini, kepentingan menjaga hati itu adalah penting. Menjaga hati daripada dijangkiti kuman virus yang sangat merbahaya yang telah diakui sejak nabi Adam diciptakan lagi.

'Awak suka kalau adik awak buat kat awak macam tu?'

'Kalau tak suka orang buat kat kita, janganlah kita buat kat orang..'

Selalu saya pesan kat anak-anak, kalau tak suka apa yang orang buat kat kita, kita jangan mulakan. Memanglah, semulia-mulia perbuatan adalah yang datang dari hati yang ikhlas. Namun dalam hal-hal perlakuan yang buruk, kadangkala perasaan empati itu dapat menghalang diri kita dari melakukannya. Kalau tidak mahu anak kita berkelakuan buruk, janganlah kita memulakannya. Apatah lagi jika melakukannya di hadapan anak-anak.. Peringatan buat diriku yang lemah dan sentiasa lupa..

interesting.. d' u think so?

Thanks to Kembara minda Perjuangan, i found this interesting and very meaningful song. Thought you might be interested as well. Enjoy!!!



NOT AFRAID TO STAND ALONE - NATIVE DEEN


Chorus
I am not afraid to stand alone….
I am not afraid to stand alone…. If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone…. Everything will be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone…. Gonna keep my head up high

Single mother raising her children
Now she's a Muslim
Started praying and wearing a headscarf
Was a healing for her heart

Struggling with no one to lean on
But with prayer she would be strong
Had a job but then she was laid off
Had a better education and it paid off

she was called for a job that she dreamed of
Close by, great pay -she was in love - they said...
They brought her in, told her she's the number one pick
You got the job, but you gotta lose the outfit"

this is a tough position that you put me in
Cause Ive been struggling with my two children
But I'll continue looking for a job again
My faith in my religion now will never bend

Chorus

Peer pressure, they were insisting
And I was resistin
Some days I felt I would give in
Just wanted to fit in

I know when I’m praying and fasting’
They be teasing and laughing
So I called to my Lord for the power
For the strength every day, every hour...

One day there’s a new Muslim teacher
Single mom and the people respect her
Just seeing her strength I get stronger
They can break my will no longer

You don’t see me sweating when they’re jokes're cracking
Never see me cursin’ with my pants saggin’
I aint running yo I’m still standing
I ride with Allah to the very end

Chorus

I am not afraid to stand alone...

now , I’m a tough one, who can bear their blows
The rest play dumb, they don’t dare say no
Scared of being shunned, but its peers they know
But I aint gonna run, I aint scared no more….

Man, these sisters be resolute
Never stressed when the rest say they wasn’t cute
And they get the respect of the other youth
Come best with the dress yo and that’s the truth

These sisters are strong gonna hand it down
So me I’m a brotha gotta stand my ground
I aint gonna shudder, when the gangs around
Peer pressure whatever, its my planet now

Others may fall, I’mma hold my own
With the help of Allah I’ll be strong as stone
And I’mma be brave and let Islam be shown
Cause you I know I not afraid to stand alone

Chorus

more on Aleesya

Just to share with my visitors how this almost a year old girl is very keen on reading. She is actually improving her fine motor skills. Moving page by page, the movement made the little fingers stronger. This is really a great time to start sharing books with the little one, as their eyes picking up the lovely colours on the pictures of every pages of the book. Keep up the good work Aleesya!!!

roda-roda perkahwinan..

Sibuk semenjak, dua menjak ini diperkatakan media tentang pasangan selebriti Malaysia yang terkenal ini. Pancaindera dari Mingguan Malaysia semalam, ahad 9 November 2008, menyiarkan 2 mukasurat penuh, berwarna warni, satu babak dari drama perkahwinan Abby dan Norman.

Pada saya, drama ini merupakan tazkirah. Sebuah kehidupan di alam realiti, yang mana pelakon-pelakonnya adalah manusia yang diciptakan Allah sebagai khalifah di atas muka bumi ini. Baik khalifah, makmurlah dunia. Andai khalifah sesat, maka hancurlah dunia.

Apa yang berlaku kepada Abby dan Norman bukanlah sesuatu yang pelik. Ianya berlaku kepada sesiapa sahaja. Asalkan sahaja hubungan itu namanya perkahwinan, maka bersedialah untuk diuji dengan ujian seperti yang mereka lalui.

Allah jadikan manusia ini berbeza antara satu sama lain. Lelaki berbeza daripada perempuan. Tujuan hanya satu, untuk mengenali antara satu sama lain. Pada waktu awal perkenalan, segalanya indah. Sudah namanya manusia, tidak sempurna. Maka sesebuah perhubungan, terutama perkahwinan menuntut kepada kesabaran, keikhlasan, kemaafan, pengorbanan dan yang paling penting, tujuan perkahwinan itu sendiri iaitu sebagai ibadah makhluk kepada Khaliqnya.

Semua kita perlu belajar daripada apa yang berlaku disekeliling kita. Cerita yang ditontonkan kepada kita bukanlah untuk diumpat, untuk dicari kesalahan siapa, tetapi untuk kita jadikan pengajaran kepada kita. Samada kita sudah melalui ujian ini, akan melalui, atau sedang melaluinya, yang penting bukan kita sahaja yang Allah uji. Semua manusia akan Allah uji dengan ujian yang sama. Siapa yang bertaqwa dan menjadikan Allah sebagai tempat menyelesaikan masalah, insya Allah itu lah manusia yang mendapat kejayaan baik di dunia, mahupun Akhirat.. Wallahu'alam.

Jejak Kasih..

Hmm.. busy this morning. So busy scrolling down the monitor, going from page to page.. This one i know.. add her as a friend? Yes, sent her a message.. Yeah!!

Phew.. Facebook has get into me. Really.. When i log in this morning, fifi sent me a message.. So, my search started then.

Sekolah Tun Fatimah.. What a memory. 5 years is not that long, but it really a place not to forget. It's not that i have too many memories to remember from this place, but man.. 5 years.. I just have to admit, it was a place that i can call teacher. Even 2nd parents, should i say...

facebook.

After all the fuss, i decided to try this.. www.facebok.com. Hmm wonder why it's so famous? Well. for just a few days i was so busy.. another activity added after blogging. Now facebooking.. hehehe.. Thanks to all my supporter that made facebooking a reality, mainly.. Chik, Sheila, Hanee, Ngah etc, etc.. these are for you..

Well Done America!!!

Congratulation President Obama!!!


'No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.'
Nelson Mandela
Long Walk to Freedom

http://www.allgreatquotes.com/nelson_mandela_quotes.shtml

Petikan dari HARAKAHDAILY...

Mursyidul Am PAS, Tuan Guru Dato' Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat menyifatkan kemenangan Barack Obama dalam pilihan raya Presiden Amerika Syarikat merupakan satu perkembangan baru politik dunia...

"Apa yang diharapkan semoga Obama membawa harapan baru rakyat di seluruh dunia, sesuai dengan imejnya yang merupakan orang kulit hitam pertama yang bakal menjadi Presiden Amerika," ujarnya sebagai reaksi pertama ekoran kemenangan Obama yang kini menghampiri White House.

Beliau berkata, semua bangsa di dunia ini sama ada mereka berkulit putih atau hitam sama di sisi Allah, dan apa yang membezakan antara mereka ialah ketaqwaan terhadapNya. "Sekarang rakyat Amerika dapat menerima seorang pemimpin kulit hitam dan diharap selepas itu serangan terhadap umat Islam juga berakhir tidak sebagaimana dilakukan Bush," ujarnya.

Hard to say I'm Sorry..

This is my another favorite from the same singer, a group that called themselves Chicago. This song is really touching. And in fact it's very down to earth type of song. Why do i say that?

Well, as a human being we all have our own pride and in that case, perception, that in some cases we will fight to protect it. It's all have something to do with perception. We might perceive something as right, let say blowing out our noses in front of others, but somebody may say that we are rude, have no manners at all. Honestly, if it's not because of what we believe, saying sorry does seem so hard to utter. Why? EGO?

Back to John Gray's book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus... Usually it was man who have this problem. Not denying that women have the same tendency as well, in general men have more pride in them for being the leader of anything, be it family, organisation or society.

This book let me into deeper understanding on myself as a woman, and helps me to understand my husband better for being a man. The one thing that we sometimes forget, how powerful the need to control others who surrounded us. Be it our spouse, siblings, children and even friends. This need then turn into conflict, for people who don't realise who is incharge or in control of any situation. In a smaller unit of society, a father or mother will fight with the children in order to gain control within the family. On the other hand, it was so frustrated to watch some people who try to gain control of a nation or a country in a very dirty way, be it with money or thro the military's mean.

Going back to the basis of Islamic teaching, husband and wife will live in harmony if those teachings were observed. The emphasis is on the responsibilities of both party. The need for the husband to be a leader in the house, and the understanding by the wife to reckon and respect that need. A leader in Islam of course not a dictator. The leader should give recognition on everyone's functions, thinking and needs.

Enjoy the song.. Let us all listen, understand and react..

Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for a day
From your body
Wouldn't want to be swept away
Far away
From the one that I love

Hold me now
It is hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

After all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

Have you been there?

Being in Tun Fatimah for 5 years have been a transformation. I learnt a lot of things, not just from the teachers but from friends as well. The very one thing that i picked up was an addiction for songs especially English romantic songs. Teenage life.. Another bad addiction was the Mills and Boons collections. Just imagine a few shelves in the library were dedicated for that.. But as the argument from a few teachers, it helps improve the English among the students. I guess they are right.. although one can still argue on it. Just to share another of my favourite...



Those who have watched Karate Kids will remember this.. This has always been the inspiration on any girl's mind in Tun Fatimah. One day, i will meet my Mr Right. He will be my Knight of Shining Armour.. He will fight for our love.. HAHAHA..

Glory Of Love

Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

CHORUS
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

CHORUS

Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

CHORUS

We'll live forever
Knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
We did it all for love

My sins...

I have always love musics. Born in mid 70's, the songs that have been aired by the radio stations in the 80's were the kind of musics that i love to hear. Eversince i got to know usrah in the UK, the musics have change to nasyid and zikir. Eversince i got married, we never have any kind of radio. The songs were aired by the PC.

That was before. Back in Malaysia, i have to forgive myself. Being a part time driver give me time to listen to the radio. Although i can just tune in to radio IKIM or play the cassette, sometime the finger would prefer to press the radio station button. It will usually be sinarFM, as they usually play songs from the 80's.

The one group that i loved so much during my schooldays was Chicago. And this i found from Youtube. Just to share.. it is dedicated to my beloved HUBBY (who else huh?!!)




You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul
CHORUS:
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring felling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more that I need you
And i know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And i know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart in my soul
CHORUS

From my mailbox..

Received this emel from a member of ALUMNI. Something to be shared with everybody. Hope you can read it and enjoy it.. If the writing are too small to be read, just click on the image. It'll grow bigger.. hehehe

Updates.. My Life

Saya akui saya memang sibuk akhir-akhir ini. Banyak perkara yang saya hendak, sedang dan akan lakukan. Susah juga hendak meletakkan kepentingan ke atas sesuatu perkara. Lebih-lebih lagi bila masa yang ada tidak pandai di susun menyebabkan ketiadaan masa untuk berhenti, merenung, menilai dan membuat keputusan sebaiknya.

Ada rakan-rakan yang bertanyakan perihal Taska saya. Baru-baru ini saya buat keputusan untuk samada jual atau tutup sahaja. Kenapa? Kerana saya rasa sangat-sangat bersalah kepada kanak-kanak di taska itu. Saya tidak dapat memberikan yang terbaik buat mereka.

Saya kepenatan menguruskan anak-anak sendiri seramai 6 orang. Kakak darjah 5 dan abang ngah darjah 3. Mereka, saya hantar ke SRI Al Qari di Chicha. Manakala Aisyah, darjah 1, dengan kesungguhan baba, saya hantar ke SRJK Peir Chei. Zaed, 5 tahun, pula saya hantar ke Tadika Tengku Anis kelolaan YIK di belakang masjid Telipot. Tinggal Anum, 3 tahun feb tahun hadapan, dan Aleesya, 1 tahun bersama-sama saya di taska.

Pagi saya bertugas sebagai drebar anak-anak. Sebelum ke taska pula, saya buat kerja-kerja rumah yang mana sempat. Selalunya basuh baju. Bayangkan 8 orang dalam keluarga, dalam masa 1 hari berapa helai pakaian yang digunakan. Bayangkan pula jika saya tidak membasuh pakaian 1 hari, berapa helai pula yang akan saya basuh pada keesokkan harinya?

Dengan tenaga yang ada, saya menuju ke taska. Di taska, kanak-kanak seramai 11 orang beserta 2 orang pengasuh menunggu. Kami ada 3 orang bayi di bawah umur 1 tahun. Memang siksa.. Saya menghadapi masalah yang melanda mana-mana majikan, masalah pekerja. Dalam sektor perkhidmatan seperti taska ini, memang susah hendak mencari orang yang sanggup mengasuh kanak-kanak kecil. Lebih-lebih lagi di Kota Bharu ini. Mungkin ada, cuma saya sahaja yang tidak bertemu.

Di atas sayalah urusan taska ini, dari melakukan aktiviti bersama-sama kanak-kanak besar (3-4 tahun) hinggalah kepada memandikan bayi berumur 2 bulan. Alhamdulilah 2 orang pekerja yang saya ada setakat ini adalah antara yang paling lama telah bekerja dengan saya, 6 bulan. Sebelum ini, setiap 3 bulan bertukar pengasuh. Bayangkan keadaan anak-anak kecil itu, yang mengharapkan kasih sayang dan perhatian.. Aduh.. saya sedikit kecewa. Kecewa kerana tidak dapat memberikan yang terbaik kepada mereka. Merasa bersalah, itu yang lebih tepat. Namun saya terpaksa akui, saya hanya seorang manusia biasa. Saya punya kelemahan dan keterbatasan yang memungkinkan saya ini menjadi manusia normal.



Dalam kesibukan itu, masih juga mencari-cari masa untuk membantu perniagaan suami. Taska saya buka pada September, 2007. Februari 2008, suami membeli Islah, pusat heamodialisis di Wakaf Che yeh. Saya boleh sahaja menumpukan perhatian dan tenaga saya kepada taska tetapi pada masa yang sama, saya juga merasakan kewajipan saya membantu perniagaan suami. Jadi kini saya berulang-alik rumah-sekolah anak-anak-taska-Islah.. Letih, memang meletihkan. Tapi itukan hakikat hidup.

Hidup tempat beramal. Hidup tempat bercucuk tanam amalan. Hasilnya di tuai kelak di Akhirat.. Semuga segala yang saya lakukan ini diterima Allah sebagai amalan yang soleh. Saya berdoa semuga saya sabar dalam melakukan segalanya. Sehingga hari ini, taska masih beroperasi seperti biasa. Cuma saya sedang berusaha untuk mendapatkan seorang lagi pengasuh, atau mungkin sahaja seorang rakan kongsi yang dapat menguruskan taska dengan lebih baik dan berkesan.. Wallahu'alam. Doakan saya...

Half of me is missing..

It's been 2 days now since my other half left me and the kids to do humanitarian work with those folks from Yayasan Amal Malaysia. This time the place chosen is Mindanao, Philippines.



I asked him before he left, will it be safe to go there? He was surprised, 'why?'

'Well you know.. what happen if my husband were to be captured by those Abu Sayyap's men?'

'Hehehe.. Abu Sayyap?'

'O Allah.. Please take care of him from the time he left the house until he comes back home..' My prayer will always accompanied him, wherever and whenever..

Aleesya gonna be 1.. very,very soon

Alhamdulilah, my sweet little baby will be 1 year old insya Allah this coming 27th of November. You will agree with me, a year is not long. As time flies nowadays.. at a very high speed. Masya Allah.


Aleesya can walk now. Alhamdulilah.. She started with a very few steps in nursery a few weeks back. Not long after Hari Raya. She followed her brother Zaed, who started walking at the age of 9 months. Even Anum walked early as well, 10 moths old.

Enjoy this everyone..

Jeng.. jeng..jeng..

My feelings said, almost ready.. Like what i'm seeing. Okay, it may not be anybody cup of coffee (mind you, not everybody like coffee.. my hubby prefer tea and i can't be short of RADIX), but I LIKE IT. It may not be perfect, but I LOVE IT.. Chik, for time being.. this will be my blog theme. Thanks to Chik who introduce me to WWW.OURBLOGTEMPLATES.COM. As visitor, i was spoilt for choices.. Too many to choose and yet i can only have one.. since i have only one blog. (yang satu ni pun tak larat nak update.. lagi nak bela banyak-banyak.. huhu)

Thanks to all of you who have been so patience and persistent.. Although it was always Chik that left me some notes and comments, but i believe there are others who care about me. Keep up your doa, may we stay closer than what the eyes can see.. Thanks again!!!
These are for all my visitors.. esp Chik!!!

Testing.. testing

Sehari dua ini blog ini dalam keadaan tidak menentu. Peningnya blog ini sepening tuannya. Saya sedang mencuba beberapa template yang menarik untuk saya kekalkan sebagai template yang baru. Makanya kepada pengunjung, terutama Chik, diharap dapat bersabar dengan kepeningan ini. Insya Allah dalam masa yang terdekat ini pening ini akan hilang.. Doakan saya.

p/s Chik: camane nak panjangkan header kat atas ti supaya gambar tu memenuhi lebar monitor ini ek? hmm..