Well one might still argue that the exploitation of women is still there. Rather than women with free hair, they are now wearing hijab. Argue? Hmm...
Friday 29 February 2008
KEMPEN 3...
I was born in JB but now is living in KB. I used to joke with new people i met that although by alphabetical order, J is next to K, but in Malaysia, JB and KB is about 12hours-drive apart from each other (psst... if Damon Hill were to drive from KB to JB, he would be in JB in around 8hours i tell you.. Want to experience the drive? you're welcome to travel with our family.. hehehe.) Just want to share some of the photos that i received from emel, which some of you might have seen it somewhere else..Well one might still argue that the exploitation of women is still there. Rather than women with free hair, they are now wearing hijab. Argue? Hmm...
Well one might still argue that the exploitation of women is still there. Rather than women with free hair, they are now wearing hijab. Argue? Hmm...
Thursday 28 February 2008
Another essential character in life..?
I remember talking to a friend a few weeks back. She mentioned this essential character of human being.. FORGIVENESS. I still remeber what she said to me, but to share with all my beloved friends out there, i cut and paste some of the extract i found this morning. The rest can be read from this address: http://www.celebratelove.com/forgive.htm
LoveNote. . .
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Forgiveness works! It is often difficult, AND it works!
We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest that you focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you. To not forgive them is like taking the poison (continuing to suffer for what they did or didn't do to you) and expecting THEM to die!
We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest that you focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you. To not forgive them is like taking the poison (continuing to suffer for what they did or didn't do to you) and expecting THEM to die!
Alexander Pope once said, "To err is human; to forgive, Divine." Believe it!
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No," then that's it! All is forgiven.
Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.
Telling someone is a bonus! It is not necessary for forgiveness to begin the process that heals the hurt. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal matter.
Telling someone is a bonus! It is not necessary for forgiveness to begin the process that heals the hurt. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal matter.
Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.
There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Mahatma Gandhi
Mahatma Gandhi
Some will argue that in the case of child abuse, the Holocaust, Saddam Hussain, 9-11, etc, the abuser has no "right" to forgiveness -- such blessings can only be earned -- that forgiveness only leads to further victimization. Such acts are heinous and dispicable and with time (and in many cases, therapy and coaching) they can be forgiven. Every day you may have to forgive again.
The greatest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, such as an affair, means that you condone it. Not true. In fact, we can only forgive what we know to be wrong. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you.
Another misconception is that it depends on whether the person who did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or changes his or her ways. If another person's poor behavior were the primary determinant for your healing then the unkind and selfish people in your life would retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by another.
I believe that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to remain the victim. Remember, you always have choice.
When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven. . . owns you! How about an affair? Just because you choose to forgive, does not mean you have to stay in the relationship. That is only and always your choice. The choice to forgive is only and always yours.
When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do not NEED to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it - except for the consequences, which THEY must live with.
The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years. Don't rush it. Constantly reliving your wounded feelings gives the person who caused you pain power over you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt, it helps to focus your energy on the healing, not the hurt!
Learn to look for and appreciate the love, beauty and kindness around you. It's there, and you may have to change your thinking and behavior to discover it.
HEALTHY love relationships are not possible without forgiveness! You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone else, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that happened in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past love partners, your parents, children, your boss or anyone who you think may have "done you wrong" is the only way to improve your chances of a "healthy" relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter!
It is not possible to truly be present and available to a new relationship until you heal the hurt and upsets of the past.
Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life. It's the only way. It means cutting them some slack.
"What?" you say! "Cut them some slack after what THEY did to me? Never!" Let go! Move on!
Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and delivers you from depression. It can enhance your self-esteem and give you hope.
"What?" you say! "Cut them some slack after what THEY did to me? Never!" Let go! Move on!
Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and delivers you from depression. It can enhance your self-esteem and give you hope.
LoveNote. . . The things that two people in love do to each other they remember. And if they stay together, it is not because they forget, it is because they forgive. - From the movie, Indecent Proposal
Forgive and forget is a myth. You may never forget AND you can choose to forgive. As life goes on and you remember, then is the time to once again remember that you have already forgiven. Mentally forgive again if necessary, then move forward. When we allow it, time can dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt; the memory will fade.
Always remember that you are human. Sometimes people do and say hurtful things. It is important to focus on what you have done to learn from the experience.
"In this life. . . we are unable to forget whatever remains unforgiven. So, if we won't let go of some pain - whose time has now past - then who is to blame for the weight of this burden still being carried on our back?"
Guy Finley
Sunday 24 February 2008
kempen 2
Hari ini, 24 Februari 2008 adalah Hari Penamaan Calun. Calun-calun yang bakal bertanding dan kuncu-kuncu yang akan bekerja memastikan kemenangan calun pun sibuk bersiap untuk berkumpul di pusat penamaan calun yang telah ditetapkan. Hari ini Kota Bharu hujan.. Muslimat PAS Kota Bharu dengarnya dah bersiap dengan payung-payung.. bekerja kuat tahun ini memandangkan PAS DUN Tanjung Mas mengekalkan calun Puan Rohani Ibrahim, bekas YB penggal lalu. 
Nampak tak ada orang dalam kubu tu..? Acu tengok gambar hok mulo-mulo tu, napok dok ore dok nunggu atah kat tepi bule hok besa tu? Canggih sengoti.. ambo tabik idea kreatif ni.
Perang poster telah bermula seminggu lalu, tapi baru hari ini berkesempatan merakamkan beberapa contoh yang boleh dilihat disekitar Kota Bharu. Yang paling menarik setakat ini ialah di DUN Bunut Payung. Siap kubu perang.. Syabas pemuda Bunut Payung.. Kekalkan semangat antum, bukan setakat pilihanraya..
Nampak tak ada orang dalam kubu tu..? Acu tengok gambar hok mulo-mulo tu, napok dok ore dok nunggu atah kat tepi bule hok besa tu? Canggih sengoti.. ambo tabik idea kreatif ni.
Saturday 23 February 2008
Friday 15 February 2008
7 secrets to a long — and happy marriage
Found this article a few days back. Forgot the address, i struggled to find back the article. I found it useful so decided to paste it here in my blog. Hope they don't mind..
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19031744
7 secrets to a long — and happy marriage
Two bachelors share wisdom from couples who have been married decades
TODAY
updated 12:32 p.m. ET June 5, 2007
Matthew Boggs, whose parents divorced, was jaded about marriage. But he noticed his grandmother and grandfather, who had been married for 63 years, were still madly in love. To find out what was the secret to a long and happy marriage, Boggs and his friend, Jason Miller, traveled 12,000 miles around the U.S. to talk to what they call the “Marriage Masters,” couples who have been married 40 years or more. In their new book, “Project Everlasting,” Boggs and Miller share advice from the happy couples.
TODAYshow.com asked the two bachelors to tell us what are the top seven secrets to a successful marriage. Here they are:
1. “Divorce? Never. Murder? Often!”
Entering matrimony with the mindset that “divorce is not an option” is vital for the long-term success of marriage, say the Marriage Masters (a term we gave couples who have been happily married over 40 years). They went on to explain that this kind of mindset allows a couple to see solutions to marriage’s boiling points — and trust us, not one of our interviewee couples avoided such periods of relational strife — which would have otherwise been overlooked simply because one eye was too busy examining exit strategies.
Marriage Masters simplify this into one word: Commitment. And they’re quick to point out that commitment is the virtue sorely missing from today’s marriages. That said, there are deal breakers that very few of our interviewed couples advocated working through. These are known as the three A’s — addiction, adultery, and abuse. A marriage overwhelmed by any of these three issues is unhealthy, plain and simple, and the Marriage Masters suggest that if you find yourself overwhelmed with any of the three A’s, take care of yourself (and your safety) first, and the marriage second.
In the end, the old saying holds true: where your attention goes, energy flows. So the next time you’re facing a mountain in your marriage, focus on the next foothold and soon enough you’ll find yourself over the top.
2. “There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, only perfect moments.”
We were shocked to discover how much work went into creating a great marriage. We’d always figured, “Hey, I’ll just find my soul mate and things will naturally fall into place after that ... we’ll live happily ever after.” Um, not so fast, one Marriage Master wife said with a certain look that meant business. “Whoever said being soul mates was going to be easy?” Her husband of 52 years nodded, then added, “Marriage is a bed of roses, thorns and all.”
Any time two individuals live together (especially over 40 years) there are bound to be annoying, irritating, and frustrating experiences. But whether it’s the toothpaste cap, toilet seat, snoring, or the last-minute pull-the-car-over-to-check-the-score-of-the-game-at-the-local-bar move, one thing is for sure: the best marriages are served with an extra helping of acceptance for one another’s peccadilloes. “And that’s the beauty of marriage,” said Maurice, another Marriage Master. “All of our individualities, all of our wonderful differences. You gotta have friction. You can’t get any heat without friction.”
We would do well, they say, to expect non-perfection; practice patience and give the acceptance we want in return. There’s no doubt that this is hard work, but judging by the end result, it’s well worth the effort.
3. Unpack the Gunnysack
“People ask us our secret to marriage,” said John, married 48 years. “I tell them it’s the boxing gloves. We aren’t afraid to say what’s on our minds.”
Unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh us down like an overloaded gunnysack. These accumulated frustrations can quickly turn into resentments. “Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” said Sally, married 50 years. “Resentment will eat away at your marriage.” The Marriage Masters encourage us to unpack the “gunnysacks” by opening the communication lines as frequently as possible.
But guess what? If we haven’t created and nurtured an environment where open, honest communication is welcomed and treated with diligent respect, then we can wave these crucial “clearing the air” moments goodbye. So where did some Marriage Masters go to build that trusting, open environment? Weekend marriage retreats! These powerful getaways stood out in many of our interviewees’ minds as the one experience that turned their faltering marriage into a flourishing one. The trick, of course, is convincing the husband to attend.
4. Never Stop Dating
It has been said that it’s the quality of time, not the quantity of time that matters. But now we know, thanks to the Marriage Masters, that it’s the quantity of quality time spent together that leads to a wonderful marriage. Whether it’s a vacation in the Bahamas, or simply spending a night at a local motel once a week, keeping the romance burning is easy: all you have to do is keep stoking the fire.
One woman, married 47 years before her husband passed away, disclosed her secret to lifelong love. Every night, when her husband came home from work, they went up to their bedroom and hung a sign on the door that read “Do Not Disturb: Marriage In Progress.” For the following fifteen minutes they’d focus all their attention on one another. No phones, no pets, no distractions; even the kids knew that mom and dad were not to be bothered. When asked what they did in their bedroom, she laughed and said she’d leave that to our imaginations. That was probably best anyway.
5. “Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E”
Marriage Masters have a high degree of selflessness. “I’ll never forget what my mentor told my wife and me before we got married 42 years ago,” said a Marriage Master named Walter. “He looked at us and said, ‘Most people think marriage is 50/50. It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you.’”
It’s always super-apparent in the best of the best marriages that both spouses have followed this philosophy. Though it’s not a difficult concept to understand — putting one another first —it’s surely a bit more difficult to practice consistently, especially with the prevailing “Me first (and second)” mentality today. “The younger generations seem to have a sort of me-me-me mentality,” says Donna Lee, married 45 years. “The great part is that the me gets everything it needs when it puts the we first.”
6. Join the CMAT Club
Grandma Dorothy Manin, the inspiration for Project Everlasting with her 63 years of beautiful matrimony, formed an informal club when she turned 70 years old. She called it the CMAT club. The CMAT club stands for Can’t Miss A Thing and represents the idea that life is short, so make sure to enjoy as much as you can. The death rate for human beings hovers right around 100 percent, and is expected to remain there for … well, forever. Consider this: if the average life span is 77 years, then that means we only have 77 summers ... 77 winters ... 77 Christmas mornings ... 77 New Years, and that’s it. The Marriage Masters know this all too well. It’s easy to get caught in the day-to-day craziness of life and, in the process, take our spouses for granted. A widow named Betty, married 54 years, says, “Now that he’s gone I wish I hadn’t had so many headaches.”
The Marriage Masters are here to remind us that this adventure we call life goes by in the blink of an eye; relish your sweetheart’s presence while he or she is still here.
7. The Discipline of Respect
“You can have respect without love,” said Tom, married 42 years, “but you can’t have love without respect.” His sentiments were not uncommon in our 250-plus interviews around the nation. By and large, the number one secret to a thriving, everlasting marriage, as declared by the Marriage Masters, is respect. It is the catalyst for all things beautiful in a relationship: trust, connection, authenticity, and love. Unfortunately, respect — in all its seeming simplicity — is too easily overlooked, leading to criticism and all the ugliness that eventually causes both spouses to wonder (and vehemently): How in the heck did I ever fall in love with this person?
“You are the master of your words until they are spoken,” a Marriage Master of 65 years pointed out. “Then they become the master of you ... so choose your words carefully.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19031744
7 secrets to a long — and happy marriage
Two bachelors share wisdom from couples who have been married decades
TODAY
updated 12:32 p.m. ET June 5, 2007
Matthew Boggs, whose parents divorced, was jaded about marriage. But he noticed his grandmother and grandfather, who had been married for 63 years, were still madly in love. To find out what was the secret to a long and happy marriage, Boggs and his friend, Jason Miller, traveled 12,000 miles around the U.S. to talk to what they call the “Marriage Masters,” couples who have been married 40 years or more. In their new book, “Project Everlasting,” Boggs and Miller share advice from the happy couples.
TODAYshow.com asked the two bachelors to tell us what are the top seven secrets to a successful marriage. Here they are:
1. “Divorce? Never. Murder? Often!”
Entering matrimony with the mindset that “divorce is not an option” is vital for the long-term success of marriage, say the Marriage Masters (a term we gave couples who have been happily married over 40 years). They went on to explain that this kind of mindset allows a couple to see solutions to marriage’s boiling points — and trust us, not one of our interviewee couples avoided such periods of relational strife — which would have otherwise been overlooked simply because one eye was too busy examining exit strategies.
Marriage Masters simplify this into one word: Commitment. And they’re quick to point out that commitment is the virtue sorely missing from today’s marriages. That said, there are deal breakers that very few of our interviewed couples advocated working through. These are known as the three A’s — addiction, adultery, and abuse. A marriage overwhelmed by any of these three issues is unhealthy, plain and simple, and the Marriage Masters suggest that if you find yourself overwhelmed with any of the three A’s, take care of yourself (and your safety) first, and the marriage second.
In the end, the old saying holds true: where your attention goes, energy flows. So the next time you’re facing a mountain in your marriage, focus on the next foothold and soon enough you’ll find yourself over the top.
2. “There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, only perfect moments.”
We were shocked to discover how much work went into creating a great marriage. We’d always figured, “Hey, I’ll just find my soul mate and things will naturally fall into place after that ... we’ll live happily ever after.” Um, not so fast, one Marriage Master wife said with a certain look that meant business. “Whoever said being soul mates was going to be easy?” Her husband of 52 years nodded, then added, “Marriage is a bed of roses, thorns and all.”
Any time two individuals live together (especially over 40 years) there are bound to be annoying, irritating, and frustrating experiences. But whether it’s the toothpaste cap, toilet seat, snoring, or the last-minute pull-the-car-over-to-check-the-score-of-the-game-at-the-local-bar move, one thing is for sure: the best marriages are served with an extra helping of acceptance for one another’s peccadilloes. “And that’s the beauty of marriage,” said Maurice, another Marriage Master. “All of our individualities, all of our wonderful differences. You gotta have friction. You can’t get any heat without friction.”
We would do well, they say, to expect non-perfection; practice patience and give the acceptance we want in return. There’s no doubt that this is hard work, but judging by the end result, it’s well worth the effort.
3. Unpack the Gunnysack
“People ask us our secret to marriage,” said John, married 48 years. “I tell them it’s the boxing gloves. We aren’t afraid to say what’s on our minds.”
Unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh us down like an overloaded gunnysack. These accumulated frustrations can quickly turn into resentments. “Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” said Sally, married 50 years. “Resentment will eat away at your marriage.” The Marriage Masters encourage us to unpack the “gunnysacks” by opening the communication lines as frequently as possible.
But guess what? If we haven’t created and nurtured an environment where open, honest communication is welcomed and treated with diligent respect, then we can wave these crucial “clearing the air” moments goodbye. So where did some Marriage Masters go to build that trusting, open environment? Weekend marriage retreats! These powerful getaways stood out in many of our interviewees’ minds as the one experience that turned their faltering marriage into a flourishing one. The trick, of course, is convincing the husband to attend.
4. Never Stop Dating
It has been said that it’s the quality of time, not the quantity of time that matters. But now we know, thanks to the Marriage Masters, that it’s the quantity of quality time spent together that leads to a wonderful marriage. Whether it’s a vacation in the Bahamas, or simply spending a night at a local motel once a week, keeping the romance burning is easy: all you have to do is keep stoking the fire.
One woman, married 47 years before her husband passed away, disclosed her secret to lifelong love. Every night, when her husband came home from work, they went up to their bedroom and hung a sign on the door that read “Do Not Disturb: Marriage In Progress.” For the following fifteen minutes they’d focus all their attention on one another. No phones, no pets, no distractions; even the kids knew that mom and dad were not to be bothered. When asked what they did in their bedroom, she laughed and said she’d leave that to our imaginations. That was probably best anyway.
5. “Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E”
Marriage Masters have a high degree of selflessness. “I’ll never forget what my mentor told my wife and me before we got married 42 years ago,” said a Marriage Master named Walter. “He looked at us and said, ‘Most people think marriage is 50/50. It’s not. It’s 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you.’”
It’s always super-apparent in the best of the best marriages that both spouses have followed this philosophy. Though it’s not a difficult concept to understand — putting one another first —it’s surely a bit more difficult to practice consistently, especially with the prevailing “Me first (and second)” mentality today. “The younger generations seem to have a sort of me-me-me mentality,” says Donna Lee, married 45 years. “The great part is that the me gets everything it needs when it puts the we first.”
6. Join the CMAT Club
Grandma Dorothy Manin, the inspiration for Project Everlasting with her 63 years of beautiful matrimony, formed an informal club when she turned 70 years old. She called it the CMAT club. The CMAT club stands for Can’t Miss A Thing and represents the idea that life is short, so make sure to enjoy as much as you can. The death rate for human beings hovers right around 100 percent, and is expected to remain there for … well, forever. Consider this: if the average life span is 77 years, then that means we only have 77 summers ... 77 winters ... 77 Christmas mornings ... 77 New Years, and that’s it. The Marriage Masters know this all too well. It’s easy to get caught in the day-to-day craziness of life and, in the process, take our spouses for granted. A widow named Betty, married 54 years, says, “Now that he’s gone I wish I hadn’t had so many headaches.”
The Marriage Masters are here to remind us that this adventure we call life goes by in the blink of an eye; relish your sweetheart’s presence while he or she is still here.
7. The Discipline of Respect
“You can have respect without love,” said Tom, married 42 years, “but you can’t have love without respect.” His sentiments were not uncommon in our 250-plus interviews around the nation. By and large, the number one secret to a thriving, everlasting marriage, as declared by the Marriage Masters, is respect. It is the catalyst for all things beautiful in a relationship: trust, connection, authenticity, and love. Unfortunately, respect — in all its seeming simplicity — is too easily overlooked, leading to criticism and all the ugliness that eventually causes both spouses to wonder (and vehemently): How in the heck did I ever fall in love with this person?
“You are the master of your words until they are spoken,” a Marriage Master of 65 years pointed out. “Then they become the master of you ... so choose your words carefully.”
SURATAN.. Al Wadi
“Barangsiapa yang bertaqwa kepada Allah nescaya akan dijadikan untuknya jalan keluar (dari belenggu masalah) dan dikurniakan rezeki dari sumber yang tidak disangka-sangka” (Al-Thalaq: 2-3)
Chorus
Tanpa ada rasa kecewa
tanda syukur ku pada yang Kuasa
Pengabdian yang telah diberi
kini nyata menjadi bukti (2x)
Ku bersyukur pada yang Kuasa
Kerana diberikan rahmat taqdirNya
Ketentuan yang telah diberi
Kuterima dengan rela hati (2x)
#
Hayatilah hidupmu insan
Hiasilah dengan kesabaran
Hikmah yang disebaliknya
Tercetus nikmat yang mulia
Cekalkan hati tempuh hidup baru
Segalanya pengalaman buatmu
Menghadapi ujian pengukur iman
Terimalah ketentuan ini
Ulang Chorus
Walaupun terkadang nak ku rebah
Dek runtunan perasaan gundah
Kucapai kalam Mu penenang jiwa
Benteng utama kekuatan jiwa (2x)
repeat #, Chorus
This is my other favourite from Al wadi's song that i put up here in my blog. The meaning is so deep that as a normal human being, it's worth remembering and keep coming to it again and again.
Being a muslim we accepted that life is a test to human. As long as we know where we'll end up, the journey to that place where we hope will be the nicest place ever will not be easy. Allah promises in the Quran that those who didn't believe in Him will enjoyed all the wonderful things in this world. But to those who believe in meeting Him after life, this world should be the place to earn His pleasure.
Life is a test to muslims. Tests come in all forms, be it things that men like or dislike. Easy or hard the test is will depend on how much we put our trust in Allah. Allah said that He will test men according to his ability. If men success, Alhamdulilah. But if it's otherwise.. hope it won't be us.
Quran already stated that men will be tested on all aspects of life, his spouse, his children, his wealth, his health and so on and so forth.. basically everything. HEARTS that filled with love to His Creator will have to be STRONG. That's where the ILM comes to place, Not forgetting the nearest and dearest person who'll be able to REMIND us of our duty so that we'll always be on the right path.
Muslims need not worry if they did something wrong. Mistakes will be done,that is normal because we are not perfect. Allah knows that and one of the best character of good muslims are those who asked forgiveness upon their mistakes. If we can accept ourselves as imperfect, why others need to be perfect? The key here is to willingly ask forgiveness, which is not easy because remembering what the syaithan did when Allah instructed them to bow down to Adam and they refused. And they also refused to ask forgiveness from Allah and would rather go to the Hell. EGO..
Asking forgiveness from Allah is an act to get near to Allah. And it is also a way to get near to human being. Being a muslim, dakwah is an area that we need to venture. Thus by equipping ourselves with this act, will surely gain other's trust, respect and love. Trust me...
Wednesday 13 February 2008
Kelebihan bersabar.. part 3
'Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu dan kuatkanlah kesabaranmu dan tetaplah bersiap-siaga (diperbatasan negerimu) dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah agar kamu beruntung.' (Ali Imran: 200)
5. Sabar memanjangkan umur dan membuatkan hidup kita stress-free.
'Your biography becomes your biology', Caroline Myss
Percaya atau tidak, terdapat research yang menyatakan orang yang pemarah mempunyai satu setengah kebarangkalian untuk mendapat cancer dan 4 daripada 5 kali lebih berisiko terhadap penyakit jantung. Cuba tanya doktor akibat marah dan stress.. kadar pernafasan lebih tinggi, darah tinggi dan bertambah acid dalam perut.
'If you do vent, your brain gets even more worked up, sending the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol surging through your bloodstream to prepare you to fight. This, scientists have found, has the effect of weakening your immune system, particularly your T-cells, which are the body's main infection fighters. Muscles contract, blood vessels constrict, and your heart has to work harder to circulate your blood..' (Ryan)
Samada stress dengan kehidupan kita yang terlalu sibuk mahupun stress dalaman yang menyebabkan kita berasa marah, hanya sabar yang dapat meredakan stress tersebut dan membawa kehidupan yang lebih sihat.
6. Sabar membantu kita mengurangkan pembaziran waktu, tenaga dan wang.
'With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown', Chinese proverb.
Pernah terperangkap dalam traffic jammed? Pernah ternampak kemalangan jalanraya sewaktu kereta bersesak didalam traffic jammed? Pernah terfikir kenapa? Betul.. Pemandu tidak sabar, mahu cepat dan potong queue. Lepas tu kita nampak kereta tu kemek sebab cium kereta lain. Akhirnya pemandu tersebut terpaksa membazirkan masa , tenaga dan wang semata-mata kerana tidak sabar.
Pepatah mat saleh berbunyi 'Haste makes waste'. Begitulah bunyi nasihat seorang guru kepada anak muridnya yang akan menghadapi peperiksaan, terutamanya subjek matematik.
5. Sabar memanjangkan umur dan membuatkan hidup kita stress-free.
'Your biography becomes your biology', Caroline Myss
Percaya atau tidak, terdapat research yang menyatakan orang yang pemarah mempunyai satu setengah kebarangkalian untuk mendapat cancer dan 4 daripada 5 kali lebih berisiko terhadap penyakit jantung. Cuba tanya doktor akibat marah dan stress.. kadar pernafasan lebih tinggi, darah tinggi dan bertambah acid dalam perut.
'If you do vent, your brain gets even more worked up, sending the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol surging through your bloodstream to prepare you to fight. This, scientists have found, has the effect of weakening your immune system, particularly your T-cells, which are the body's main infection fighters. Muscles contract, blood vessels constrict, and your heart has to work harder to circulate your blood..' (Ryan)
Samada stress dengan kehidupan kita yang terlalu sibuk mahupun stress dalaman yang menyebabkan kita berasa marah, hanya sabar yang dapat meredakan stress tersebut dan membawa kehidupan yang lebih sihat.
6. Sabar membantu kita mengurangkan pembaziran waktu, tenaga dan wang.
'With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown', Chinese proverb.
Pernah terperangkap dalam traffic jammed? Pernah ternampak kemalangan jalanraya sewaktu kereta bersesak didalam traffic jammed? Pernah terfikir kenapa? Betul.. Pemandu tidak sabar, mahu cepat dan potong queue. Lepas tu kita nampak kereta tu kemek sebab cium kereta lain. Akhirnya pemandu tersebut terpaksa membazirkan masa , tenaga dan wang semata-mata kerana tidak sabar.
Pepatah mat saleh berbunyi 'Haste makes waste'. Begitulah bunyi nasihat seorang guru kepada anak muridnya yang akan menghadapi peperiksaan, terutamanya subjek matematik.
Lama tiada berita..
Apologise to all of you who used to visit me through the blog. Thank you for keep coming back though i don't expect people to care and bother on what i put in this blog. I have a lot in my mind but priorities is priorities. Writing does help sometimes, but not always.
I am confused.. Feel like, lost in a place that is so unfamiliar. Although i do think the place is the same place i have been all this while, but when i'm confused, i am very confused.
A lot of times we did something and we regret it. A lot of times we said something and later we regret it. Sometime we didn't do anything and still we regret it..
My inner part is undescribable at the moment. Probably it shows how bad my EQ is. Someone with a good EQ can describe their feeling and act positively upon it. And surely i'm not that someone.
Life is not easy. It has ups and downs. Thinking that we will always be at the upper side, doesn't help when life turn upside down. That's where sabar take place. Patience, as always.. easy said than done. As i tried to munch everything Ryan wrote in her book, Power of Patience.. life does seem to demand more on me. Do nothing, lay back and relax. Why is it so hard to do...? Sometimes i do want to sit back, relax and do nothing.. but hanging out with nobody but myself, doesn't help at all.
Life is full with responsibilities.. But sometimes i always forgot that being resposible to myself is taking care of myself. I always thought of taking care of others that i sometimes forgot to take care of myself. I expect people to care for me while i care for others. In reality, it doesn't always work.
Selfish? Looking after myself will be an act of selfishness? A point to ponder..
I am confused.. Feel like, lost in a place that is so unfamiliar. Although i do think the place is the same place i have been all this while, but when i'm confused, i am very confused.
A lot of times we did something and we regret it. A lot of times we said something and later we regret it. Sometime we didn't do anything and still we regret it..
My inner part is undescribable at the moment. Probably it shows how bad my EQ is. Someone with a good EQ can describe their feeling and act positively upon it. And surely i'm not that someone.
Life is not easy. It has ups and downs. Thinking that we will always be at the upper side, doesn't help when life turn upside down. That's where sabar take place. Patience, as always.. easy said than done. As i tried to munch everything Ryan wrote in her book, Power of Patience.. life does seem to demand more on me. Do nothing, lay back and relax. Why is it so hard to do...? Sometimes i do want to sit back, relax and do nothing.. but hanging out with nobody but myself, doesn't help at all.
Life is full with responsibilities.. But sometimes i always forgot that being resposible to myself is taking care of myself. I always thought of taking care of others that i sometimes forgot to take care of myself. I expect people to care for me while i care for others. In reality, it doesn't always work.
Selfish? Looking after myself will be an act of selfishness? A point to ponder..
Tuesday 5 February 2008
Kelebihan Bersabar.. part 2
'Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu dan kuatkanlah kesabaranmu dan tetaplah bersiap-siaga (diperbatasan negerimu) dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah agar kamu beruntung.' (Ali Imran: 200)
3. Sabar membantu kita membuat keputusan dengan lebih baik
'A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brain' (Dutch Proverb)
Dalam satu sesi 'Parenting Course' yang aku hadiri, ibubapa diingatkan supaya sentiasa memberi masa untuk anak-anak bertindak ke atas arahan yang diberi. Contohnya si ibu menyuruh si anak membasuh kasut sekolah. Kali pertama si ibu memberi arahan, dia hendaklah memberi masa kepada anaknya dengan membilang dalam hati. Mungkin 1 hingga 10. Sekiranya anak itu memang telah dikenali sebagai seorang yang lembap, atau mungkin juga si anak sedang menonton kartun kegemaran mereka, maka si ibu dinasihatkan untuk membilang dengan senyap kepada bilangan yang lebih besar. Si anak mungkin akan bangun walaupun mengambil masa sedikit, atau mungkin juga dia tidak akan bangun sekiranya apa yang dilakukan itu lebih menarik dari arahan yang diberikan. Setelah arahan diulang, si ibu perlu terus membilang dengan senyap, tetapi kali ini sambil memikirkan tindakan yang perlu diambil sekiranya si anak masih tidak juga menurut arahan yang diberi.
Bayangkan sekiranya si ibu tidak membilang dengan senyap i.e. bersabar dengan sikap anak yang tidak cakna terhadap arahan si ibu, sudah pasti si ibu akan cepat-cepat menghukum si anak. Paling tidak pun, si ibu akan membebel tidak henti-henti dengan menyebut segala kelemahan si anak.
3. Sabar membantu kita membuat keputusan dengan lebih baik
'A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brain' (Dutch Proverb)
Dalam satu sesi 'Parenting Course' yang aku hadiri, ibubapa diingatkan supaya sentiasa memberi masa untuk anak-anak bertindak ke atas arahan yang diberi. Contohnya si ibu menyuruh si anak membasuh kasut sekolah. Kali pertama si ibu memberi arahan, dia hendaklah memberi masa kepada anaknya dengan membilang dalam hati. Mungkin 1 hingga 10. Sekiranya anak itu memang telah dikenali sebagai seorang yang lembap, atau mungkin juga si anak sedang menonton kartun kegemaran mereka, maka si ibu dinasihatkan untuk membilang dengan senyap kepada bilangan yang lebih besar. Si anak mungkin akan bangun walaupun mengambil masa sedikit, atau mungkin juga dia tidak akan bangun sekiranya apa yang dilakukan itu lebih menarik dari arahan yang diberikan. Setelah arahan diulang, si ibu perlu terus membilang dengan senyap, tetapi kali ini sambil memikirkan tindakan yang perlu diambil sekiranya si anak masih tidak juga menurut arahan yang diberi.
Bayangkan sekiranya si ibu tidak membilang dengan senyap i.e. bersabar dengan sikap anak yang tidak cakna terhadap arahan si ibu, sudah pasti si ibu akan cepat-cepat menghukum si anak. Paling tidak pun, si ibu akan membebel tidak henti-henti dengan menyebut segala kelemahan si anak.
Pernah tengok cerita di TV tentang kemalangan yang melibatkan sebuah pesawat kapalterbang? Kita diperlihatkan betapa pramugari dan anak-anak kapal yang lain diajar supaya bertenang dalam menghadapi kemalangan, sekiranya berlaku. Ini membolehkan anak-anak kapal memfokuskan diri mereka demi menyelamatkan nyawa penumpang-penumpang. Sesungguhnya diri yang boleh bertenang itu adalah diri yang bersabar. Bagaimana mungkin seseorang itu dapat bertenang sekiranya tiada kesabaran dalam diri. Maknanya dengan kesabaran itu diri dapat ketenangan yang memungkinkan diri membuat keputusan yang lebih baik. Ini sangat penting apabila berhadapan dengan saat-saat genting atau cemas.
Bayangkan juga kita menghantar sms atau emel kepada seseorang dan amat-amat mengharapkan balasan daripadanya. Tetapi setelah beberapa hari menunggu masih tidak kedengaran apa-apa darinya. Kita mungkin menyangka yang dia memang tak mahu membalas atas 1001 alasan. Tetapi kita juga boleh menyangka yang dia mungkin tidak menerima sms atau emel tersebut kerana kesilapan teknikal. Dengan kesabaran, kita dapat melihat sesuatu dengan lebih positif dan membuat keputusan yang lebih baik.
Saya pasti kebanyakan dari kita sudah pasti pernah mengalami keadaan di mana kita menghabiskan banyak masa merungut atau bersedih dengan sesuatu perkara yang kita tidak dapat tunggu untuk melihat kesan ke atas peristiwa yang berlaku. Sedangkan dengan kesabaran kita akan menjadi lebih tenang. Dengan ketenangan kita dapat mengumpulkan maklumat yang cukup sebelum kita jadi menggelabah dan panik.
4. Sabar menghubungkan kita dengan harap.
‘Patience is the art of hoping’ Luc de Vauvenargues
Nelson Mandela terpenjara kerana mempertahankan prinsipnya bahawa manusia mahupun hitam atau putih adalah sama. Dia tidak pernah berdendam dengan orang kulit putih yang memenjarakannya. Dia tidak pernah berhenti mengharapkan pembebasannya dari penjara itu. Dia menamakan anak perempuannya dengan nama Azwie, bermaksud harapan.
Dia antara manusia biasa yang dikurniakan Allah dengan kesabaran yang tinggi. Sesungguhnya kehidupan seharian kita juga kita bisa menemukan manusia biasa seperti ini, yang diuji Allah dengan ujian yang kita sendiri apabila menghadapinya belum tentu dapat bertahan seperti mereka itu.
Dalam Al Quran juga banyak contoh-contoh yang dihidangkan kepada pembaca tentang nabi-nabi dan umat-umat terdahulu yang diuji Allah dan mereka ini samada menang dalam pertarungan antara haq dan batil, mahupun kalah dan ada juga yang gugur.
‘What is your heart’s desire? Is it worth hoping for? With patience, we nurture hope in the darkness of our waiting, so that one day our heart’s desire may burst forth, fully realized.’ M. J.Ryan.
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